Are Korean-American women narrow-minded and uncultured?
Written by Ricky Kim Monday, 25 May 2009 13:12
Korean women are the most beautiful women in the world. I mean I love Korean
woman but...Korean women don’t love me. I’m a professional sales
rep making a decent salary. I also have a degree from Berkeley and was blessed
with above average height, athleticism, personality and looks (at least some
would say). So why I’m having such difficulty finding an equally attractive
educated Korean American woman? Maybe it’s because I’m not wealthy.
Maybe it’s because I am also an artist constantly challenging the interpretations
of the modern world.
It seems as though in this culture Korean-American men are absorbing all the great qualities of western ideals while balancing the traditions of our ancestry. I look around and feel that most Korean-American men have made a smooth transition from the former generation. Even though some of us are still very materialistic, but for the most part, we are educated, sensitive, and open-minded. Moreover we do not possess the nasty temper and emotional unavailability that has plagued our fathers. Of course these characteristics are understandable considering the history of Korea. But we are definitely respectful of the opposite sex. I think we make great husbands and fathers.
However, our counterparts well that’s a different story. Whether or not you agree with me, the consensus is real in our communities. Especially living here in Los Angeles, majority of Korean-American men have voiced their frustrations with the opposite sex. Even people outside our culture, white, black, brown, other Asian; both women and men alike have such a stereotype of our beautiful women.
High maintenance, complicated, difficult, extremely materialistic, high emphasis on brand names, pretentious, self-absorbed, entitlement, star struck and constantly needing attention.
I don’t ever remember coming across an activist Korean American woman that fought for any causes besides the church. Never have I met a Korean American woman even care about the environment. They care about comfort, luxury, and their toy dogs.
Just the other day at a bar, I overheard Korean women talking to each other, saying that they would not date men who drove less than BMW’s. Maybe the reasoning as to why when you visit Chapman Plaza in Koreatown, you see an abundance of high end luxury vehicles in the parking lots. But let’s keep it real, the majority of people owning (leasing) these vehicles make less than 50K a year and are living with roommates in ghetto apartments in Koreatown.
The last girl I dated drove a BMW, wore the latest fashion and accessories, and made 40K a year as an administrator. She was incredibly attractive but also very much self-absorbed. No her parents aren’t wealthy so you could imagine who would pick up the tab whenever we went out. One more thing, she had a long term boyfriend she failed to disclose when we were dating.
It’s funny to me because I see my fellow attractive professional co-workers all lie about their relationship status. One of my friends blatantly told a client that she was single when just the other day I visited her at her apartment with her live in boyfriend. But she swears they’re only friends.
The American culture puts a high emphasis on Asian women. They are at the top of the proverbial dating totem pole. We Asian men on the other hand, well let’s just say we’ve remained humble throughout this ordeal.
But with the stark realities of the failing material world, both economically and environmentally, how can we not challenge our former philosophies? The consumer driven mentality disgust me. Women brandishing their Louis Vuitton while the planet rots. Somehow in this crazy world, these things make people supposedly better. External possessions are more important than the inside. I know I am hypocrite because I do look for physical beauty. But I also know that she has to have a quality soul.
When I was younger, yes I had my share of engagements but as I get older they simply want the conservative elitist banker. Imagine if John Lennon was a banker.
I know what you’re going to say maybe I should go to church and stop meeting women at the club. But I don’t meet women at the club, I meet them through friends. And church well that’s a whole other topic. Again I am somebody who challenges the status quo.
Recently I’ve been dating a very attractive Southeast Asian woman. Undoubtedly my Korean-American counterparts will look down upon (muh-shee-heh) and think they’re better just because they’re Korean. You would think as a minority we would have more tolerance and appreciation.
But on our second date we went to Takami in downtown LA. As I left to the restroom, behind my back she took care of the bill. Not a cheap bill either. No she’s not wealthy. I don’t remember the last time a Korean woman took care of a bill on the second date. But I guess she could afford to do so because she doesn’t spend every penny she has on very high end designer crap. Her spirit is high end. Her favorite hobby isn’t shopping. Let’s face it. We buy all this crap to compensate for things we lack on the inside.
Even though it’s against my mother’s wishes, I probably won’t marry a Korean-American woman. I need to be passionately attracted to my significant other, and for the most part attractive Korean-American women have unattractive personal values. They don’t care about the issues. They care about themselves. They call me negative but I feel the most positive thing you can do is have the courage to address the painful realities in order to build a brighter future for our children.
Every generation has put in work and made sacrifices to allow the freedoms we possess today. We can’t just keep taking without giving back.
Our world is changing, the fantasy is over. Unfortunately, Korean-American
women may be the last to realize it.
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Matt Lee
said:
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... Ricky, Great Article, I am fortunate enough to date a beautiful Korean girl that luckily doesn't have these personal values and probably agrees with 95% of this article. But of course tempted and influenced by them like all of us we're both materialisitc, I drive a Lexus lol. Your article is largely accurate for a great majority of korean gals out there; there is a lot more truth in stereotypes but of course you should get to know every person as an individual. I have felt your frustrations: The Korean-American Christian single female from upper/middle class can be one of the most judgemental, bigoted ( yes a girl can be bigoted ) character in modern culture. I commend you on getting your opinion out there and date whoever you love man more power to you if she's not Korean. |
Taya Park
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... As a Korean-American woman, I find this piece badly-written whinging at best and extremely offensive at worst. Yes, there are some Korean-American women who are materialistic, self-absorbed, and spoiled. Those adjectives apply to a lot of Korean-American MEN, too. In fact, those adjectives apply to a lot of PEOPLE, period. But to single out one particular group and perpetuate a dangerous stereotype is unnecessary and ignorant. There are plenty of intelligent, attractive, funny, caring Korean-American women out there - professional women who can take care of themselves and who care about things beyond Rodeo Drive. I'm sorry the people in your immediate environment are such poor examples, but only the most shortsighted person would extend your own experiences to describe the world at large. And one doesn't need to own a "Louis Vuitton" to know how to spell it correctly. |
Carter Lee
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... Girls like Taya above are exactly why Korean-American girls are conceived this way. |
Sky
said:
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... Hmmm... I do agree that LOTS of women in ktown can be superficial. But your article is quite bias, stereotypical and sexist even!! I live in LA but I hate shopping nor do I treat guys as my side "wallet". I'm economical but still believe in getting pampered or wooed by the opposite sex. That shouldn't make me a gold digger. It wasn't till recently I got my first brand name purse as a gift because I refuse to spend that much a purse. I don't litter because I care for the economy and I donate to children's hospitals and UNICEF. In fact, it's the Korean men who flash their money around that deserve to be "used". If you're going to complain about it, don't buy the girls stuff with alterior motives. We know what you're trying to get (do). If the girls are a certain way most likely the guys incouraged them to be so. Men act as if they are impartial when the truth of the matter is the men probably bought these expensive stuff for the women. I'm not saying we should wrap ourselves in Fendi, Gucci and Prada but women should have somethings of quality and value. And is it so bad if women look for men who are stable and capable of care? As far as marriage is concerned women need to look for men who can take responsibility even if she cannot work (i.e. during pregnancies). And you are totally right!! People in LA may drive an expensive car but that may also be the ONLY thing they can afford. But that goes both ways. Men trying to impress does him no good. It's a false image. People should live to their means. And regardless of how much or how little they have, they should be modest and humble. Yet, it's only sequitir and human nature to want the finer things in life. Hence, it is wrong for you to judge Korean women based on your insignificant amount of experience with us. Yes. The world is changing. And unlike the past Korean women who got beat by their men because they had no say, the modern women will hold their head up high and demand to be treated with respect. So get with it- |
mkim
said:
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... Ricky, you complain about the materialism you face, but you open your piece describing how you're Berkeley-educated, above average height, looks, etc. It seems like you've bought into this materialism (what's saying that you're from Berkeley other than just showing off a brand name?) and are now whining because it hasn't gotten you the babes you so obviously crave. This is SUCH a cliche, but it is what's inside that counts, and judging by your article, you seem quite shallow and prone to blaming others for your problems. Korean women are just like all women: some are hot in all senses of the word, some are not. They're human. Nothing special about them as a group. If you can accept this and stop blaming Korean women for your problems, you'll be on your first steps to maybe getting a date with a Korean woman. |
Eugenia Chong
said:
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... Carter, I don't understand what Taya said that would warrant her to be conceived as materialistic, narrow-minded, etc. I'm a 26 year old KA female and I'm shocked that someone could be so petty and short-sided to write this article in 2009! Though stereotypes persist for a reason it's not just KA women who are superficial. We live in a Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan obsessed generation where 16 year olds want to throw sweet 16 birthday soirees that need to be financed. Hopefully this recent economic downturn will be a wake up call for young people to value financial stability over flaunting. Mr. Ricky Kim, it's dangerous to generalize such a negative image of a certain population because that's what you'll always see in your interactions with them. Just on this page, on the column to the right I see an article about "Going Green with Suchin Pak." Also, don't assume people look down on your non-korean girlfriend. There are many more multiracial couples nowadays (especially asian male, non-asian female couples) even on mass media outlets. There has never been a more accepting time to date out of your ethnicity before now. Maybe you are from an older KA generation but I sense that you are self-conscious and your views dated. I hope you gain a different perspective from the comments that will surely come from writing this article. |
Chech
said:
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... Hi, It's obvious you didn't go to Cal for Journalism or Rhetoric because your article is flawed, both grammatically and theoretically, and your thought process is sporadic at best (i.e. please elaborate what "When I was younger, yes I had my share of engagements but as I get older they simply want the conservative elitist banker. Imagine if John Lennon was a banker") -- I'm lost. Is this a vengeance rant? Because it seems like someone's been jaded one too many times by a Koreatown hoodrat. Either that or you just need to get laid, my friend. In either case, for someone that claims a Berkeley degree shouldn't you be more liberal and open-minded than to be so stereotypical of people, especially Korean-Americans in LA? I was born and raised in LA and as Korean-American as you can get. And albeit the rotten ones, you haven't looked hard enough. I say this on behalf of all my friends who actually do pay tabs, don't drive luxury cars, don't act pretentious and actually care about this environment, are politically savvy and well-informed about what's going on in the world. People are people no matter what demographic, socio-economic status, ethnic composition, et al. Don't blame Korean-American women just because you've struck out. Blame it on this economy, blame it on our misogynist culture but don't use our women as a scapegoat. Only fantasy that is over is your ability to score. Ciao, Chech p.s. Let me guess, you were an EECS major at Cal? No love in the computer labs, huh? |
whatever
said:
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... I don't know what your talking about, my Korean boyfriend is so awesome, I cook for him (love watching him enjoy it), run his errands, drive him around, cater to his every need. I make good money and I love that I can spend it on him, the smile on his face is worth it all. Others may not agree, but I think he's beautiful!! I don't come from a wealthy family and I don't care for the name-brand goods (I think we all grow out of that fascination at around 22... it's like boys and your fascination for cars... and please don't tell me you guys buy nice cars to get "narrow-minded uncultured Korean girls...." But you have the right plan.... stick with the other Asians |
Liza Lim
said:
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... Firstly, I want to say that what Ricky and Taya have to say are equally important and we don't need to start hating on because of someone's different opinion. Instead, we can educate one another through these discussions of differences. What I read in Ricky's article is true to an extent. I have known women like the ones Ricky wrote about and that was when I was young and hanging out in places where they went to. However, there is a world other than K-town, where reality exists. My advice Ricky (not that you're asking but I'm giving anyway - free of charge), get out into the world more or get a new group of friends that will introduce you to some terrific Korean American women. We do exist! :) But definitely do date whoever takes your heart and make that paradigm shift for your own life. Peace! |
Ricky
said:
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... I appreciate everyone's feedback. Looks like I hit a hot button. Of course there are EXCEPTIONS. But let’s keep it REAL; you can be adamant all you want but the stereotype does EXIST. But do I really have to be so politically correct??? Can't I be honest with my experiences??? Then you my friends are the agents of intolerance and judgment. I can appreciate all the criticisms, being a geek and my inability to score but CAN YOU??? Can you honestly take a step back from your bubble and tell me this isn't true for the most part??? Have you ever been to Chapman plaza??? People aren’t people. This is not the norm for Middle America!!! Korean-American women do have some ultra high material standards that are higher than the norm. Ive just found women from other cultures are more open to date the struggling artist. But really though to say that there is no basis for this article, you're out you’re freakin mind…you only reinforce you’re narrow-mindedness. The people commenting right now are maybe the 10% aversion. I say MAYBE because if you really do possess any self-confidence like Liza and Matt, then you could appreciate my point of view. |
ekimunited
said:
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... Very interesting article Riks. I like how you took a stance and have given your readers a chance to respond. The fact that we're having this type of discussion is the real victory. Eugene |
Chech
said:
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... Ricky, You should definitely not go into law because my 2 year old nephew can couch better arguments than you. I can't believe you have the gall to consider people that have criticized your shitty article as being intolerant. You call me living in a bubble? Haha. Have you ever seen the Taj Mahal or been on the Ganges River? Have you ever trekked across the Sahara desert or studied Italian in Tuscany? Didn't think so. You want to "assume" things, you degenerate. I say you need to reevaluate your dating tactics not the girls that don't give you the time of day. |
J
said:
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... OMG. Who is this f*cken loser that is blaming Korean women for the fact that he has no game? The women he encountered are only a small percentage of our population. Almost every Korean girl I know is cute in their own way. Isn't he the superficial one for only noticing the made-up girl in super short skirts and flashy accessories? All my girlfriends are cute and damn independent. If we happen to own a nice hangbag or two it's because we bought if for ourselves with our hard-earned money. WE DESERVED THEM! And no, I'm not saying my girls are cute just because they're my friends. Everytime we go out they're fending off guys, because they're just NOT THEIR TYPE. I married a TEACHER, so don't you dare say we only look out for guys with money (no offense to the hubs) You shouldn't think it's fishy that your co-worker doesn't admit she has a so-called live-in boyfriend at work. I know tons of MALES that do the same when conducting business - some people just choose to not disclose that part of their lives when at work. Haven't you heard of keeping personal life and work separate? |
Avg_K_Male
said:
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... Ricky, Bro, while I don't disagree with what you have to say, but I think your perception is distorted... I mean, I love my Korean women just like you, and yes, some are very materialistic when they have nothing to offer themselves. However, there are just as many Korean men that have not grown out of the typical temperamental, roid-rage-like attitude. What you wrote is very similar to someone going to Watts and complaining about their mugging experience and labeling all African-Americans as gangsters. You can't judge KA females based on your experiences or conversations that you've overheard from the Chapman plaza and Le Circle. First of all, you shouldn't be looking for Miss Right from those places to begin with. In addition, you can't hate them for playing the game... they are what they are by the set precedence. The the rules were written long before you and me, and the girls you're chasing are simply playing the game and sadly... you got played, homie! I don't want to sound like I'm hatin' on you, but like yourself, I'm expressing my thoughts. I'm an average Korean male, avg. height, with an avg college degree, and avg pay check. While I understand your frustration, but I can't provide any empathy per I know too many strong KA women that are beautiful inside/out, successful, philanthropic, and just a good soul. FYI, what you see is a product of the society, good or bad, learn to accept it and move on. Life is too short for you to get worked up about materialistic girls that are up to no good. Let me tell you something... Mid-American females has another set of problems that you're not exposed to. I don't know if you've done any good to yourself by writing this article. However, I do know that you've just opened the Pandora's box and now, you're a target to a group of KA females. Now, that's an issue you have to deal with. Good luck sorting this out, bro! Average Korean Male |
Ricky
said:
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... chech ~ just because you have crossed a desert doesnt make you any more open-minded or any better than me. Paris Hilton has traveled the world. and im sure she studied more than the language in italy. but kudos to you for having the financial luxury (bubble) to travel the world. But to say there is no basis for this article, well you are freakin out of your mind! just how people view the persians and the taiwanese, they view the koreans. you can kick and deny all you want but the stereotype is alive. my little brother just got back from tanzania voluntering at an orphanage for 6 months. i had a problem with that since he was leaving his job during one of the worst financial crisis in our lifetimes. Its nice to travel the world but we have real responsibilities. We support our mother. I couldnt travel the world until my mother traveled the world. but you are demonstrating some self-serving tendencies. me me me. im better than you cause i crossed a desert and jocked italian men. nah nah nah. My uncle did missionary work for the last 3 years in the phillipines, sudan, korea, and the middle east. He's still very much stubborn and tempermental. but he'll agree with some of the things in this article. J ~ with the glaciers melting. none of us deserve these "nice" things. you dont get it. the nice things are going to kill our children. there are 7 billion of us. the world cannot sustain our material consumption. but again thats why its so hard to meet anyone that understands. avg korean male ~ fortunately i have the courage to face their wrath. Been dealing with it all my life. I am very happy with my current relationship. It feels good having someone taking care of me for a change and not having to deal with all the pressures that come with dating a korean-american woman. She doesnt even want a diamond because of all the tainted blood and status attributed to them. |
Korean by association
said:
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... In regards to the article written, I find alot of it to be true. As an African-American woman, I see why my Korean-American boyfriend is with me. I find more and more Korean-American women looking for " The American Dream" in the wallets of a White American males. Too many times to count, I get the stares of Korean-American women who wonder," What is he doing with her?" Let me tell you...African-American women and Korean-American men share the same values. We are hard working,caring,loving,understanding people. We don't have a problem working all day and coming home to cook and clean for our men.Something the new generation of Korea-American women have a hard time doing. I know SEVERAL Korean-American women who can't even make Ramen let alone bibimpap(Yes, I make a mean bibimpap!)Somewhere down the line Korean-American women layed culture by the way side to be the "k-town" version of Paris Hilton.Please don't get me wrong, there are bad apples in every batch.But, with a batch of Korean-American "apples", it's best to through out the batch and just keep the bucket. P.S I apologize about any mis-spelled words. I'm attempting to write this from work in a 5 minute time frame. |
trollslayer
said:
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... korean girls, much like the rest of the civilized world have been laid to waste by the so-called "culture" they've exposed them to and modeled their lives after: MTV, E, SATC, THE HILLS... climbing ladders, living nigga rich and chasing the dream on credit/debt. chech, for all the great things your hard earned money has brought you- why do you sound so vapid and angry? the article obviously hit home for you, otherwise you wouldn't sound so damn defensive... check your insecurity and venom. you sound like a fool... and for all your life experiences, why do i (and an alarming amount of my successful contemporaries) avoid women who sound JUST like you? this is obviously an editorial. anyone can spend a few evenings in koreatown and see the writing on the wall. it would be erroneous to assume every korean american girl fits this mold, but really... take some responsibility and recognize that we have produced more than our share of amoral, superficial, conniving, small-minded, promiscuous females in this generation. i know your korean parents raised you to hold yourself pridefully to a higher standard than the rest of the animals out there. maybe you should take a page out of their book. |
mkim
said:
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... Ricky, you are a perfect example of what's wrong with our educational system today: we have graduates from some of the best colleges (Berkeley in your case) who still cannot write or formulate concise and coherent arguments. Grades and SAT/GRE scores do mean something, but not in your case. |
mkim
said:
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... Okay, my previous post was a little mean-spirited. Ricky, what I should have said was so what about Korean-American women, Chapman Plaza, Paris Hilton? If they bother you so much, just ignore it and walk away. There are lots of things in this world that may not "agree" with us, but they have just as much right to exist and be the way they are as we do. You do have a right to complain and criticize the things you don't "agree" with, but in your case I get the sense that you're like the little kid who wasn't accepted into the "in" crowd; you're on the outside looking in and the only way you feel you can level the playing field is to verbally attack and promote stereotypes. I'd recommend asking yourself why these things bug you the way you do and maybe write about that. Try to come to terms with how these things relate to you and then move on. These are things I try to do on a daily basis, and I admit it's not easy; it's a lifelong process. Good luck. |
Ricky
said:
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... mkim, i cant ignore the issues because KA women are way too intelligent to accept the status quo. like i said earlier many people made sacrifices to allow the freedoms we possess today. We have a responsibility. thats the problem everybody just moves on. nobody cares. and when nobody cares we are enslaved. materialism and ignorance are forms of slavery. Many of my female counterparts view success materially. As an assimilation into mainstream culture. As smart as KA women are the majority of them don't vote, read the news, understand the issues, the current north korean escalation, or even know that ex president Roh just killed himself. they are tuned out. atleast some white, black, brown, etc women care about the issues. But i rarely find this in our community. To answer your question as to why i do this. Just by seeing all the comments posted, people are reflecting on this subject. If just a few people were to stop and think, then i have done my part and given back. Whether a few people throw stones, i will gladly do so because at leaast i can tell my children that i took a stand. i didnt just go along with the program like most of my Cal friends and left you this burning world. Imagine if the leaders in the past didnt take a stand, if they just let it go and move on. We would be sitting at the back of the bus. Unfortunately the struggle is never over, we now have to do our part. |
mkim
said:
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... Ricky, I still don't understand why you feel that it is your job to "enlighten" Korean-American women. Why you in particular? What makes you so special? What makes you morally superior to the rest of us? Also, I do feel you make several rash generalizations: "K[orean-American women] are way too intelligent to accept the status quo." "Nobody cares." "Many of my female counterparts view success materially." "As smart as KA women are the majority of [Korean American women] don't vote, read the news, understand the issues..." "at least some white, black, brown, etc. women care about the issues." Reading your quotes above, I'm puzzled as to why you are singling Korean-American women out. You make it seem like they are at the root of all that is wrong with the world, and I highly doubt that. To quote you again: "I didn't just go along with the program like most of my Cal friends and left you this burning world." I don't get it! Why is this world burning? Because of Korean-American women??? I think Korean-American women are beautiful, but why single them out? Why not African-American women, Indian women, Caucasian women? Why not white-male office workers for that matter? Or farmers? Or clerics? Republicans? Democrats? Your writings leave me puzzled in 2 areas: why do you think you have the right to "enlighten" Korean American women? And, why do you feel that correcting Korean American women's attitudes will make this world right? To be frank, your posts sound dangerously misogynistic and racist, and they're made to sound even more sinister by the way you couch your diatribe as a moral cleansing. We have enough false preachers in this world so please don't add to this. We don't need to see the light as shone by you. |
dra
said:
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... Ricky, as a man I can understand the frustration you feel about the rampant materialism and consumerism in our culture. I can attest to the crop of shallow, superficial people who may only care about things on the surface. And I can see how, based on your personal experience, you can come to some of these conclusions. But my critique of your article is 2 fold: First, I cringe at your simplistic over-generalization of KA women. People are much more complex than your article give credit for. Why do people look for beauty or wealth? Perhaps, the motivation is the desire for acceptance or security. Whatever the case, I hear in your tone the search for depth and quality, but you have demonstrated, in my opinion, little effort to seek answers beyond the surface level tensions. If all you can do is huff that KA women are shallow, then in my opinion, have not done enough to get to know the women you have met. Second, I believe your observations similarly apply to KA men who also hold superficial values of beauty, attractiveness, and strength. Doesn’t it seem hypocritical that you seek out a woman with looks and a certain personality set, by your own admission, but you judge them because they look for people who drive a BMW or better? In principle, how is this any different? I find that the conversation of many KA men can become base at best, and downright perverted and scandalous at worst. And I will be the first to admit that men look for women who are willing to stroke their ego. Sounds crass? Let’s call it what it is. But it’s the same as women who want to be spoiled. What I’m saying is that, I believe people need to recognize that just as much as women need to be loved, men have a need to be respected. But relationships are hampered and frustrated because we don’t consider how we have serve the other, but only look at self-fulfillment (whether in our toys or our significant other). Personally, I can personally attest to the high number of quality, sophisticated, mature, thoughtful, beautiful women in the Korean American community. Perhaps it’s time to change venues, rather than continuing this pattern of insanity (repeating the same pattern while expecting a different result). I do hope you’re experience is redeemed. You sound like a socially conscious, thoughtful person, and I hope this discussion will help to balance your critique. Also I will go out on a limb and say thanks for having the courage and honesty to initiate the conversation. Albeit it is incomplete, misguided in parts, and completely biased in my opinion, I realize that if you are willing to write about this issue, I wonder how many other men and women in our community are thinking about the very same things? I hear too often women lamenting at the lack of good men out there. I’d like to hear someone write a piece from the woman’s perspective. Would love to hear anybody's thoughts and responses. All the best. danielra.wordpress.com |
..., Low-rated comment [Show]
Ricky
said:
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... I’ve been called a fu@!ing loser, an idiot, a geek, ugly, unintelligent, false preacher, dangerous, misogynist, sh!tty, uncultured, unable to get laid, etc… I did preface this article with a question. Are KA women narrow-minded and uncultured? Judging by the nature of the responses and personal attacks to my character, I feel you are indirectly answering my question. The commentors are revealing their own lack of depth and thoughtfulness regarding the actual critical issues that plague our community. Your comments reveal less about my article or even my personal self then it does about you. You are being defensive. Now I ask why??? This is an opinion piece based on my own personal experiences and observations. To discredit my observations and dismiss them with mere hatred does nothing to make me believe otherwise. I believe you don’t care and you have shown that you don’t. But then you do. You spent the time to register with ichoson to leave your opinions. Now I ask you this. Do you care more about the community or validating the beliefs and attitudes you already possess? Gauging by your reactions my opinions do matter more than you dismiss them. These issues are important. Rather than attack my personal experiences please elaborate how you feel the majority of KA women are not like this. I know 100% that there are EXCEPTIONS!! But I did preface this article as a generalization. To say generalizations are not valid or important, well it’s nice to think we live in a perfect and equal world. Black people are better athletes. All Jewish people have money. KA women are materialistic. Why do these stereotypes exist?? Because there are some underlying dynamics that give rise to such patterns. The important thing is not to attack the symptoms but rather the disease. Let’s work together to understand the problems that give rise to such observations. By not focusing the arguments on the issues and resorting to childish characterizations, you are sadly affirming my beliefs. I am disappointed more than anybody else. Maybe because I really care. |
Ricky
said:
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... In addition, I am sure ichoson is more than open to any articles that characterize our men. In fact a friend of mine, after reading the article, a really HOT LV toting, star struck, and incredibly educated lady is already on the task. But feel free to hit up ichoson! |
dra
said:
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... I agree that it is pointless and counter productive to call each other names. Your most recent comment clarified part of where you are coming from, Ricky. And it's evident that this is an important issue for a lot of people in the KA community. Unfortunately, it was impossible for me to infer your intention with only your opening question. "Stereotype" is only mentioned once, but then you list all the ways this is true. You even end the article by saying "Unfortunately, Korean-American women may be the last to realize it." How are we suppose not react? Maybe if you offered alternative perspective or examples of exceptions to this stereotype, that would have helped. But Op-Ed pieces are usually meant to create controversy and dialogue about particular issues, so in that sense perhaps your article did exactly what it was suppose to. I look forward to your friend's article. |
NICK
said:
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... Ricks, stop causin a ruckus, look what you've done LOL! I think what Ricky was trying to convey through this article was an inherent weakness in our culture centered around materialism. Though this flaw is widespread across the globe, it is extremely prevalent in our culture and I think worth a discussion. To single out KA may have touched a few nerves but to his, his own. The deeper and more worthwhile discussion, beyond Ricky's personal trajectory on the issue, is why this problem exists in our culture. Why do "some" find so much appeal in a leather bag made from Italy as opposed to one made in Indiana. Granted our proximity to the superficially motivated, flaw masking, image centric Hollywood has deeply penetrating influences on our values...other topics such as an unmotivated cultural self-esteem due to oppression as well as emotional dissonance widespread across the KA father-child relationship also come to mind. The bottom line I can draw, which I hope most of you will agree with, is that we look for external gratification when our inner values are under-developed. If there is some way we can help develop those ever important values the obsession behind materialism will undoubtedly subside. Disclaimer: pls excuse my grammatical inconsistencies as I see many people using that as ammo...I studied mechanical engineering at Berkeley, not journalism :p |
ao
said:
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... Ricky, I understand your feelings and see your point. You can see materialism to a certain degree in many cultures and maybe it's more obvious to us because we are critiquing our own culture. I met my KA wife over 20 years ago when I was just a poor CA kid in school.We have a nice life now,and she loves the fact that I love driving my old 1993 Geo prizm with 225,000 miles. Well,it's a Toyota engine.Do yourself a favor,don't dwell or waste your time thinking about KA girls and their so called attitude, just think about yourself and how you can be happy with any girl of any ethnicity.Corny yes,but it worked for me. |
music
said:
|
... You're in LA...since you are sterotyping, people from the midwest think Cali people are generally more materialistic. Maybe you're just looking under the wrong stone. I've lived in Cali before, but I thought the majority of people cared more about their outer appearances, as well as possessions a lot more than the midwest. Of course, there are some that didn't, and you just have to look for those people who are more genuine...men and women, as friends or significant others. |
Judy
said:
|
... Ricky, Sounds like you've just been dumped by a Korean-Am. women. It seems like you're making these gross accusations about Korean-Am. women from maybe...10 dates? You may be associating yourself with a particular group of girls who may all think and act alike. There are plenty of materialistic dimwits amongst Korean-Am. men, and non Korean-Am. men and women. I just find it disappointing that you decided to pick on Korean-Am. women through this article. |
Stacy
said:
|
... As a Korean-American woman living in the LA area, I would have to agree that many ktown women are superficial, materialistic, flaky, etc., which is probably why I've be-friended maybe one close KA gf since I moved out here 5 years ago (and I still don't get her obsession with designer stuff). I would also agree that this phenomenon occurs more here than in other parts of the U.S., i.e. the East Coast (where I used to live) but over there there are other types of superficial obsessions with things like education, what school you graduated from, how much money you make, etc. However, I would also have to agree with some comments about KA men and I could really go on about the gender discrimination that occurs between the sexes from my own experiences. For most of my life I vowed never to date KA men because of the same reasons that the author noted about KA women, plus a whole host of other reasons. But as I sit here, engaged to a KA man (from the East Coast!) and thinking about the issues raised in the article, I realize that we all have our stereotypes, based on experiences, and we all have a right to our perspectives. I would be careful though when that turns to discrimination - treating people or judging people based on those stereotypes without getting to know them, or bashing others because of the hurt/pain they caused you. |
Korean-Am male in Korea
said:
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... I think it is a bit harsh to attack Ricky personally for his opinion by calling him an "f*in loser" or making him an example of a flawed education system because of his illogically argued article. Attack the argument, not the person. Yes, he committed a major argument flaw by postulating that the Korean-American woman = "High maintenance, complicated, difficult, extremely materialistic, high emphasis on brand names, pretentious, self-absorbed, entitlement, star struck and constantly needing attention." However, he does talk about something very real and that does need to be addressed, although this does not only apply to Korean-American woman, and it does not apply to all woman. I'm a Korean-American male living in S.Korea currently. Living here, I have to admit I do see what Ricky is talking about, especially because the gender roles here are still very rigid. I've met a lot of great, self-aware, intelligent Korean women here, but I've also met a lot of self-centered, superficial, financially astute women who treat guys like a wallet/crap . Ricky, can you really complain though? Isn't this the law of the jungle? Most men want women who: Are physically attractive. Most women want men who: Have security (notice I did not say money because security can mean many things). I'll admit, I've passed over kind, smart, socially conscientious, funny women because they weren't up to my visual standards. Is it shallow? Definitely. Should I feel horrible for thinking like this? No because its in OUR GENES. Of course, if a beautiful woman is a complete bitch or completely self-centered, it is difficult and foolish to remain attracted to her. Kindness, intelligence, awareness are all bonuses if the hot woman we want also has these qualities. So, what I am trying to say is, you can't be bitter about women judging men based on their ability to provide (provide money, social connections, etc) when you realize that both genders have unfair criteria for judging each other. Life is not fair. If it was, we would all be making less than $10 a week like 70% of the world population. |
IownyouRickyKim
said:
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... Ricky Ricky Ricky, stereotype or not, ALL Korean American women only want one thing - a Chinese man. good luck! |
patricia
said:
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... I’m not sure I want to comment about this, but somehow, I feel compelled. As a fellow Cal grad, I am a bit disappointed. I understand the need to vent out frustrations but to do it in this very harmful and hurtful way is just plain mean. Shame on you for perpetuating this kind of stereotype. I am a Korean American woman and have found it has been so difficult to just meet someone who is kind and non-judgmental. To fill the minds of those people who have never met people like me and other Korean American women in this world with images like these and to objectify us in this light is just horrific to me. I love that your readers have brought to light some of their own experiences to counter your very shallow and myopic viewpoint. It is unfortunate that you have had bad experiences, and I am unhappy that you had to go through those experiences. However, it is not very becoming nor very gentleman-like for you to write such an article. I hope you understand the consequences of this kind of rhetoric. I wish you well in your endeavors, but I hope also that you will think twice before pushing down people in order to clear your ill feelings. There are better ways to do this. |
yix
said:
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... Creo que en cierta parte tienes mucha razon es verdad que los coreanos (en general) son un poco materialistas y que les gustan las cosas finas y todo lo demas pero eso no quiere decir que todos sean asi o si? Creo que debido a las experiencias que has tenido tienes cierta idea de lo que es hoy en dia en tu caso la mujer coreano - americana, si muy bien dices que tienes la mente abierta pues dejala abierta quien sabe si llegas a conocer a esa persona que anhelas y que no sea tan materialista.. como tu dices.. Hoy en dia los coreanos pareciera que vivieran solo por las cosas que tienen (los demas) y no disfrutan lo que tienen alrededor, solo les importa lo material.. pero no todos son asi.. Se feliz y ya... |
uberwerk
said:
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... korea got bombed to smithereens in the 50s. then it was divided into two. the upper half was turned into china. the lower half was turned into a shopping mall. face it, korea was pwned and women, who aren't as often likely to defend themselves, are also inclined to ditch the challenge of upholding what was pwned. so they run towards something more secure. these days bmw's, louis vuitton, prada, etc are displays of that security. the korean women you describe are vain. vain women make bad mothers. bad mothers breed stupidity. the stupid are inferior. next time, try a nice white american girl with real curves. |
brian
said:
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... HOW THE HELL did this article get published? if you check your grammer, use proper punctuation, and use the English language in a more commanding form, THEN the korean girls will flock. |
Bryan Hong
said:
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... While there are exceptions to every stereotype (and they ARE out there), I generally agree with the premise that many Korean-American women are as described here and fall right into this stereotype. And of course there will be many who fall into this stereotype but believe that they are different, haha. Where I strongly disagree is the claim that the men are different. In fact, this post contradicts itself by first claiming that the men are not materialistic and then later pointing out that the parking lots in K-Town are full of expensive cars driven by men who can't really afford them! Also it is rather silly to suggest that being (supposedly) less materialistic than the women means that Korean men are better integrated into American society. This is America, modern materialism for the masses was invented here! |
Sumi
said:
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... I am a Korean-American woman but I agree with the writer. Yes, it's a stereo type but many of my girl friends fall into that unfortunately. Very materialistic and superficial. Most of the girls not independent financially but don't want to purse a real career. They want to married to a rich guy and be a trophy wife. They hardly ever talk about the social issues, polictics, history, arts, music (except K-pop), enviromental issues, culture, etc.... If I were a Korean guy, I would go for those kind either. I will tell my son to run the other way :) BTW, I am not saying that all Korean gilrs are like that tho... Some... |
irwin
said:
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... "The American culture puts a high emphasis on Asian women. They are at the top of the proverbial dating totem pole" whaaaaaaat? get out of here with that comment. Hang out with more white people and I think you'll be surprised to see that asian women are NOT on their top "to do" list. As the guys from the 40-year old virgin... "You know what you're problem is? You're putting the pussy on a pedestal!" |
Linh
said:
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... Good article I think you've summed up the ordeal most guys have gone through when dating. Although I do think your generalization of Korean women is a bit flawed. I think its safe to say this applies to all sexes and ethnicities. From Vietnamese to Armenian to Korean to Black and to both men and women. Maybe materialism is more pervasive in certain cultures that value an opulent lifestyle but it still applies to all cultures. Also men are no better then the proverbial narrow-minded and uncultured woman. I like to call them douchebags. They throw their money around and think that all a woman wants is a sugar daddy. Once they find a woman who is attractive enough and is a willing recipient of their lavish gifts then they've found their match. As cliche as this may sound but for every lock there is a key and as such for every materialistic gold digger there is a douchebag willing to spend to keep that gold digger happy. We all just need to get lucky and find our counterpart and not get distracted along the way. My rule of thumb i if she dresses sexy then she probably wants attention and she is more then likely materialistic. Unfortunately those sexy girls are damn good eye candy and tough to ignore. |
steve
said:
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... The writer is just as materialistic as the women he complains about. Opening up with "I went to Berkeley and am good looking"... is just plain pathetic. Oh well. The materialistic, shallow girls won't go for the writer so he's bitter, and the girls worth going for know better. |
Older KA
said:
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... I don't think it takes a lot to observe what was written here exists in LA. I have a quick comment though, that Korean-Koreans are far more materialistic and "face" conscious than even we are here in the U.S. It detracts from your credibility however as an "intelligent, well-educated" person however to use expletives in spite of your emotional attachment to the topic. I've lived my entire life as a 2nd generation KA, in the Mid-West as well as an Angeleno...and yes, LA has it's own hypermaterialistic mindset, that is becoming more widespread across the country especially in large cities...but by far, LA is the most conspicuous of all postconsumerist greed. It worried me enough to move my family of 3 daughters away from Tinseltown. I think you should consider however if intellectual hedonism is any better than materialistic hedonism...both only serve to massage one's ego. |
Chris
said:
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... After reading this artilce I can relate to meeting materialistic KA women but it applies to all women. I am a 2nd generation KA male and have met a very pretty educated korean woman in Seoul. At first I thought she was materialistic and self centered but as I gave it more time and kept an open mind, I found yes she likes luxury brands but she can control her spending. Now after 6 months plus I am going to meet her parents and who knows? My point is when getting to know someone it takes time and patience, this is true with all women imho. Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend! |
sally
said:
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... first, korean women are the most beautiful, hands-down. the fact that there aren't billions of us make us more attractive. i am a first generation KA and work my ass off everyday to have everything i have on my back; not a cent was asked from my parents. let me tell you, there is alot of pride and guts to make what i have happen. i have met TONS of non-Korean Americans who are very materialistic..so your stereotype is well, a stupid stereotype, as they all are by definition. materialism is rampant throughout our societal web. we can partially thank targeted marketing for screwing with your perspective, but if you have let it screw with your perspective..visit a chiropractor and find your backbone. Ricky, sorry to say you want one of us hot Korean ladies and you're like a snow day at school...NO CLASS. you need to take a look within yourself to see why you aren't cutting the mustard. |
Gabriel A. Day
said:
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... Hello Mr. Ricky Kim my name is Gabriel and I'm a black american male and I just do not agree with you there are some of every women that are materialistic now c'mon. What you need to do is stop looking at bad materialistic women and start looking at the good girls. But I think you are a little closed minded anyways just liking the girls from your own culture there are all kinds of women out there not just korean. |
tewkewl
said:
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... Taya Park: I can tell by your tone you are an elitist as well. I mean, to say something like: "And one doesn't need to own a "Louis Vuitton" to know how to spell it correctly."... you are basically implying that the OP is somehow uneducated and unworthy because they can't spell the name of a luxury marques that they have no interest in. well let me ask you if you can spell the names of some 14th century russian architects correctly. probably not since you have no interest in 14th century russian architects. you can't see it, but you're one of the girls the OP describes... |
William Wallace
said:
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... Interesting article and responses! I am a Caucasian guy married to a Korean woman. I won't go into my personal experiences much as they aren't entirely relevant. I will say this much. Over the years, Ive gotten to know three Korean-American girls. They were all very wonderful people in every imaginable way. However, two of them grew up on the East Coast and one was an adoptee who grew up with in a white household. Ive heard Korean-American girls from the West Coast often exhibit the negative traits Ricky Kim describes and the ones from Los Angeles seem to be the worst. My source for this is a Korean-American male friend who grew up in Los Angeles. For this post, I'll call him Steve. He had almost the exact same problems Ricky is facing with one major exception. His problem was Korean-American girls were attracted to him! Steve came up with an all around win-win solution. He sought out Korean girls who had not spent their childhoods living in America. As he said to me, they too can be narrow minded and materialistic. However, he thought they weren't anywhere near as bad as the Korean-American Princesses he grew up with. He eventually found one who he fell in love with and married her. They've been happily together for almost 20 years. From the article I can see a problem. Ricky seems to want politically aware girls. While I am sure they're out there, I have never met a woman born and raised in Korea who cared all that much about the issues of the day. But is that really important. Would you seriously reject the potential love of your life because she doesn't want to have long discussions about global warming, has an itch to march in abortion rallies, etc.? I would hope not! And one last point. Ricky is coming down hard on Korean-American females with some specific grievances. I do not doubt his sincerity. However, I think he may be missing the big picture here. From my perspective, this isnt so much a Korean thing as a human issue. Women of all types tend to marry upwards in the socio-economic realm. Ricky, you are a Berkley grad? That is great! However, it is not going to impress a girl who has a degree from Stanford of Yale. And those women driving BMWs are going to be put off buy guys driving bland American or Japanese cars. I put up with the same issues with white girls. Its always been this way and you can not change it. Either way, I wish Ricky the best. I hope you find happiness. |
roy radin
said:
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... korean american woman are just women born in to a rotten society of greed shallow consumer manipulation much the same as most americans the values you aspire to are just another fashion for the consumers to follow and placate there view of themselves as caring good descent folk ......the racism of expectations of love of rice over coca cola is to be expected. |
Pak Young Soo
said:
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... Taya! You are right on! Don't sweat the harsh comments. Those guys will always be that way because of the way they were brought up...it's their parents...apparently; but maybe they will learn to be less judgmental. All cultures have these good and bad qualities, not just Koreans. ????! |
Soo Jin
said:
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... At face value, readers will find this article one-dimensional and somewhat biased. Some might even take offense to such overtones and suggestions; however, can you blame the guy? In other words, if his experience with KA women have been clouded with women who seek material gains over spiritual needs, or find the prospect of landing the latest designer handbag more fulfilling than having self-deprecating dialogues about social issues, then he has a right to voice his opinion. As a KA woman, I will begin by stating that there are kernels of truth behind this article. I can personally state that when I hear about "LA KA women," there is a general stereotype that Ricky has touched upon his in argument. Perhaps it's because I'm from NorCal, and grew up in a very open-minded environment with other attractive, highly educated KA girlfriends, and the thought of a KA woman whining to her boyfriend and asking him to buy her food, did make us cringe. Clearly, he is not suggesting that "all KA women," simply probing the question as to why some attractive KA women lack the wherewithal, especially in a romantic relationship, to diversity themselves more and be more politically sound and invested in social issues. But here's something I want to throw out. If a KA woman was NOT attractive but owned a Louis Vuitton bag (for social status, because it's just nice to look at, or because her "opa" bought it, etc), would it be such a big deal? |
nickolai
said:
|
... I am really glad Ricky wrote this piece. Let the anger out! Better this than driving around K-town running over all the KA women he sees... More importantly, Ricky's really doing us all a service by contributing to the discourse of questioning proven stereotypes! Expect the upcoming entries in his series to include: -- "How in the world can Korean-American men be so awesome?" -- "Why are Irish people so drunk?" -- "Homeless people stink! What's up with that?" -- "Just how well endowed are black men, really?" -- "Why does God hate me?" And btw, Ricky, for the next pieces, could you have an Editor read over them? Transcribing and stitching together all the different entries in your hate-journal do not make a cohesive whole. I can't stand these two-sentence paragraphs... |
George
said:
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... After reading this article, my only confusion is... is Ricky Kim a total douche? or a total tool? hard to tell.. this article's a joke. Learn how to write. |
A Fellow Korean-American
said:
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... I think it's more like Koreans as opposed to Korean-Americans. And if you want to only talk about Korean-Americans, it's the Korean-Americans that are infatuated by modern Korean culture and not the Korean-Americans that are well Americanized. I was born here in Los Angeles and all my Korean home girls I grew up with are the most down and chill gals I know. It's when I date Koreans that are into all the Korean Drama and the culture in Korea that drives me crazy. Anyhow, if you get to meet a true Korean-American, you'll be the luckiest guy... Korean or not. |
andy
said:
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... This article is extremely "NARROW MINDED AND UNCULTURED." Stop contradicting yourself, and pigeonholing woman or any human being. If you wrote this articled about African American women you would be in a lot of trouble by now. I mean how many dates have you been on? 10? 15? I can't believe you are writing this article based on a few bad dates. You need to get out of the koreatown bubble and start getting cultured before you write any other offensive article about people. You might want to start by understanding. |
Pepper in a bowl of sticky rice/ korean by association
said:
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... Really?Is it REALLY necessary to attack Ricky is this nature. He is simply voicing his OPINION. Are we not all entitled to our opinions? Face it, most of the women on here are upset because they see parts of themselves or their mothers in this article. How many of your mothers do nothing but spend your fathers money or sit home and watch K-drama in their over-priced homes? How many of your mothers have abandoned your Korean fathers for well off Caucasian-American men? Don't be upset that Ricky has opened your eyes to the things you were unaware of.Like I stated before in my previous entry, be more like a woman and less like a whiny whore at Le Prive prancing around with your hand out.KA women, Suck it up and stand tall. Try to correct the flaws that have been pointed out instead of being upset at the person who pointed out the flaws. |
stream
said:
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... that's why one should date a Korean-Canadian woman. other than that put your money where your mouth is, let's see a picture, pretty boy. |
Ed
said:
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... It's LA! This is disease that has infected most beautiful women. It's a players paradise when women can be fooled by bling. Easy targets. Age will set in and priorities will change. Find a good woman and hold on tight. They are very rare in these parts. |
Ed
said:
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... "Designer labels are primarily collective identities that you buy into. They are expensive and therefore 'exclusive.' If everybody could buy them, they would lose their psychological value and all you would be left with would be their material value, which likely amounts to a fraction of what you paid." Tolle Don't chase beauty. It is also a form of materialism and it fades. |
Korean Guy In The Bay
said:
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... Ricky, Honestly, you kind of sound like a little bitch with no game. "Maybe it’s because I am also an artist constantly challenging the interpretations of the modern world." GIVE ME A BREAK! The only thing that sentence confirms is that you are a douche bag. Get over yourself and just accept the fact that you suck. THAT'S why you can't get a Korean Girl. Duh dude. |
Mike
said:
|
... Very interesting article. I'm a Taiwanese-American male who in the past few years has probably gone out with somewhere between 75 and 100 women. Most were first dates that didn't lead to a second date. I've gone out with five Korean women. Of those five, one was a normal, nice person, and the other four were just strange or rude. I'd say that those were possibly my four of my worst dating experiences ever. One girl continuously insulted me throughout the evening; another stood me up and then canceled on me at the last minute two more times without an apology; the third practically forced herself into my apartment by the end of the evening (and no, not every guy likes that); and the fourth gave a really lame excuse to get out of the date that we were on. I don't think that these girls were materialistic or fell into any of the other typical Korean-American female stereotypes. I just had bad experiences with them, and now I just prefer to stay away from dating Korean-American women altogether. In case you're wondering, this doesn't happen to me with other women, so it's not like I'm a chump who gets walked on by everyone. |
Dohnghyun
said:
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... Maybe you can't attract a decent korean american woman because you come off sounding like a tool when you describe yourself as an: "artist constantly challenging the interpretations of the modern world." Get over yourself. And it does seem like you are meeting girls only at the club. You say you are meeting them through your friends. Well then they are meeting these girls at the club, and then passing them onto you. You have such a narrow view of the world in your high ideals you place on korean guys, and low perceptions you have on korean girls. Makes me think you really need eye lid surgery to make your eye site bigger and expand your view of the world. |
an Asian American woman
said:
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... have you thought about the possibility that maybe the only Korean American girls you are attracted to happen to be the materialistic kind, and that maybe somehow, their attention to looks make them more desirable in your eyes, because they're "prettier" (eg: wearing trendy or sexy clothing, better use of make-up, accentuates their pluses and downplays their minuses) by the average standards? While I can understand the "stereotype" you rant about, i can also understand where some of these women are coming from. The whole Korean club scene, where girls can be "booked," also helps perpetuate the idea that Korean women are nothing more than visual toys without a mind of their own, and that their worth is in how they look. And in exchange, the girls get free drinks and fruit. If one of the girls start dating one of the guys they meet there, I can see why the girl would expect the guy to pick up the tab when they go out. In this case, I think both the man and woman are guilty of developing the idea that the guy should pick up the tab. But of course, there's a lot of people, both men and women, who don't buy into that whole scene. They're probably not the ones you notice right away. They don't drive nice cars, they're not flashy, they're probably people you have to get to know before being able to formulate anything about them. Maybe try getting to know someone like this? As an Asian American woman who happen to be more attracted to Asian men, I've been told by many Asian men that I don't dress enough like other Asian girls, i'm not delicate and quiet, and that above all, I speak my mind (by the way, I always make it a point to pay the bill, and if the guy gets to it first, then I make sure I pay for the next date). This doesn't prevent me from dating Asian men. I just weed them out and find the ones that I get along with who aren't looking for the same stereotype that many Asian men accuse non-Asians of. You're going to find shallow materialistic people no matter what the race is. Glad to hear you're dating someone you're happy with, but please don't assume that other people are looking down on her when you go out. It's not necessarily so and it's not fair to your girlfriend to assume people believe she's beneath them. |
Ralphy
said:
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... I think you should clarify that your generalization describes LA Korean or Korean American women. Very different breed than the rest of America. And your issues then are not limited to Korean American women, but much of greater LA. You should date more outside of Korean women to see that it's more of a LA thing than Korean culture. |
Beat Assassin
said:
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... Ricky -- thanks to your wangja byong you and your boyz are giving all your insecure KA females to horny Jews like me. And I love you for that. Insecure women who over-accessorize are usually the big sluts! Also they are highly educated which I dig as well. As a matter a fact I see so many parallels in the cultures, and between KA yuhjah's and Jewish princesses in my family, I'm willing to brand KA females as my generation's J.A.P.'s (for those of you who didn't grow up in the 80s that's Jewish American Princesses not Japanese). Here is the deal: in order to 0make our DNA stronger, humans naturally gravitate towards those who are more physically different. In a Korea, a woman chooses between the short rich guy and the rich tall guy... but in the sexual Darwinian cesspool of L.A. you've got some jungle competition boy! Buck up! Women are programmed to choose status for their offspring, and if they find a higher status male they will naturally gravitate (just like if we guys find a bigger pair of tits). That aside, your article smacks of the same kind of sexual jealousy I get from all those pleat-panted money mangers who cockblock me at Le Circle. It's so tired. We're guys going after the same thing so let's help each other out instead of waste time writing articles about our bitterness. I'm glad you are happy with your girl but I guess you're parents are pulling their hair out... |
KingKang
said:
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... I have a serious problem with this article. I'm all for free speech, difference of opinion and so forth, but generalizing a sector of women from a few bad experiences isn't fair. The stereotypes are there because someone started it and you're only helping in fanning the flame. As a lot of the people here stated (even you), that there are stereotypes for every race. Does it mean it's true? By stereotyping KA women like you just did in your "rant", you're only proving that you're not as open-minded as you claim. Just because you had a few bad picks does not mean the entire crop is bad. I am a KA man who mostly grew up in LA and have dated Caucasians (my very first "girlfriend"), Latinas, Koreans and other Asians. I actually went to a predominately all African-American high school with I think a total of 14 Asians. I couldn't get a date in high school because all the black girls steroetyped me as the "studious" Asian geek that probably didn't have any rhythm. What they didn't know was that I used to DJ and rap (yes, this was back in the day when DJs actually spun wax on Technics 1200, mixing with Numark and etc) and did know how to "break it down" on the dance floor. Their stereotype of me was wrong back then and you stereotyping the KA women now isn't completely accurate. Albeit true for some, just not ALL. Would you have written the same type of article if you had bad dating experiences with Caucasian women? Latinas? Chinese? Thais? Women are women. You're going to find materialistic skanks in any race/culture. Just like you're going to find douchebag dudes in every race. Just because you happen to find a non KA women who isn't like the KA women you wrote about doesn't mean "ALL" KA women are money hungry materialistic snobs. You being a KA man, I'm sure your mother is Korean. Does this mean your own mother falls into this same category you generalized all KA women to be? What about your sister, if you have one? Nieces? Aunts? Cousins? I am happily married to a KA woman who isn't anything like the KA women you describe. I can honestly say my wife is HOT! I can say this because she gets hit on by guys of every race on a daily basis. She didn't marry me for money as I am far from being rich. With our combined income, we can "afford" to drive an Infiniti and a Lexus. And no, these are not leased and we do not live in a crappy K-town apartment. We have our own home and we like to splurge sometimes. Does this make us materialistic? I guess if you feel buying any expensive "name brand" is being materialistic. What you may not realize is that most times (not always) buying the more expensive brand in the long run is cheaper. That Nike shoes you bought may last 3-4 times longer than the Payless brand you purchased around the same time. Yes, I have a Louis Vuitton wallet (it was around $70 when I bought it) which I got over 15 years ago and I carry it til this day. It still looks pretty much brand new. How many times have you replaced you wallet in the last 15 years? How much did it cost to replace it each time? The point I'm trying to make is that just because a KA woman happen to be carrying a LV, Prada, Fendi, Burberry, Tod's or etc purse shouldn't throw up the red flag that she's a "your" definition of a KA woman. Yes, there are KA women out there that wants an expensive purse and Michael Choo shoes to match every single outfit they have in their closet. But there are just as many Caucasian women who want the same thing. Same goes for Latinas and every other race. You talk about the cars in K-town plazas. Well, have you been to the clubs in Hollywood or Sunset? Where rich, spoiled white kids are rolling deep in Hummers, Vettes, Porsches, Mercedes, BMWs and etc? Not to mention the $300 and up they drop for bottle service? That's worse than Korean clubs. Are you going to write about them anytime soon? Do you think their social and political outlook is any better than the KA women you are bashing? Look, I have a "VERY" diverse group of friends. Our group gatherings looks like an UN meeting. My wife and I are only one of two non interracial couple in our group. We all fall under different economic brackets. Some are better off than others and some can't afford to buy a new car and still drive around in a 12 yeard old Toyota. But we all have our vices. We may not spend our money in the most economical way, but we spend it on things we like because we enjoy them. Mine are comics and sports memorabilia. I have over 10,000 comic books (yes, I'm a comic geek and attend San Diego Comic Con every year though I never dress up) and my comic related statues and sports memorabilia collection probably exceeds $30K. I have a friend who has to have the latest video games and gadgets even though he was until recently driving a 13 year old trashed up Toyota. I have another friend who spends a lot of his earnings on travels even though he lives in an apartment instead of saving up for a house. Another friend who wants to pursue his dream of writing just spent most of his money on making his film. The point being, not everyone, including KA women, should be labeled as materialistic just because they happen to spend the money they rightfully earned on "luxuries". Heck, for all you know, that girl who makes $50K a year may not be carring a $1200 LV, but a $150 knock-off from Korea. Maybe that's how she can afford to drive a BMW. :-) Poseur, yes. Materialistic bitch, who knows? Write an article steroetyping after you personally have dated every single KA women in K-town. How can you honestly say you're open-minded when you are so quick to place such a negative label on KA women after dealing with a hand full. What makes you think you have to be of certain height, be of pleasing physical appearance or have a degree from a "name brand" college? I have dated a Korean girl 4-inches taller than me (I'm 5-5 and she was 5-9), I have gone out with Korean girls some said were out of my league and I never finished college because school just wasn't my thing even though I had a scholarship to Pepperdine. Lastly, you talk about "when I was younger". I don't know how old you are, but I'm quite sure I'm much older than you as I would put you in your early 30s or maybe late 20s (I'll be 41 later this year). So take it from this old man who has experienced more Korean women, you're only about 30% right. |
Mike
said:
|
... this article was HILARIOUS... i had a hoot reading it anyway, i was talking to a couple of k-town girl friends about this and 1 girl said "... mike, you're from virginia, so let me warn you - don't ever fucking marry a k-town girl or you'll end up with someone like me, i want the nice cars and i want money" (she put the emphasis on "fuck" for some reason, haha. sOooo, the article is generalizing but i sorta see where he's coming from - i mean i hear the same stuff not only from korean guys but a lot of my non korean friends echo the same thing. however, to end on a positive note, i love my korean girls and there are some great ladies out there... i'm gonna keep it korean. |
cha-la-sooh
said:
|
... Unfair stereotyping on KA women going on here? For sure. Let's keep it real, this shit exists and Ricky probably wrote this intentionally to provoke some outrage and reaction. Writing like a douche gets more attention than being polite. Sure, not all KA women are like that. Sure, it takes two to tango and KA men are just as much to blame (probably worse, given that soju makes a motherfucker violent). Sure you can argue who wins most materialistic between Koreans vs. Korean Americans, LA K-Town vs. rest of the US, or whatever. But fuck being PC for a second, let's be real. Whatever your beef, let's at least agree that all Koreans are melodramatic and crazy. Seoul power! |
Mike
said:
|
... jane - not mike lee from uva... but go cavaliers! my sister went to that skool and i was there (visiting) the yr uva beat florida state seminoles when fsu was a powerhouse football team. |
FooManChu
said:
|
... All you jokers are hillarious and over sensitive. People don't get mad if there wasn't any truth to what this Ricky Kim had to write. Chinese: Dim Sum, Korean: BBQ, Vietnamese: Pho, and the list goes on. That's just the way things are. Actually, you guys should keep blogging to keep me enterntained monkeys dancing for peanuts. |
Suzie
said:
|
... Hey Ricky, Your stereotype of Korean women articulates my exact experiences with them also. Thank you. I am really glad that you shared your thoughts. I can see that you are getting a lot of flack for it, but like you said ~ it is your opinion and your experiences. I don't understand why some people are so "angry" lol. |
catherine
said:
|
... ricky, i understand this stereotype to which you're referring but also think that maybe you are being a bit hypocritical. first of all, are you suggesting that because you make "a decent salary,... have a degree from Berkeley and was blessed with above average height, athleticism, personality and looks" that attractive korean-american women should automatically be interested in you? maybe you should give the not-so-attractive korean-american women a chance too, since you are nothing like the narrow-minded women you write about. secondly, perhaps you should get out of LA and take another look around. how can you judge others on how cultured they are when you stereotype your own culture based on one city's population? maybe it's not korean-american women who are the problem but rather just the ones around you. i grew up in virgina, and while there weren't many koreans around, there was enough. the korean-americans i grew up with are all very down to earth, not all that materialistic, and probably much more cultured than you. after high school, i moved up to new york city for college and was shocked to meet all these korean-americans who are probably very similar to the women that you write about--"High maintenance, complicated, difficult, extremely materialistic, high emphasis on brand names, pretentious, self-absorbed, entitlement, star struck and constantly needing attention." i found that the korean-american that fall into your stereo-type were the loudest and easiest to spot, but when you look past their flashiness, you also realize there are other korean-americans around, those who are not so materialistic, not so narrow-minded and not so superficial. it's been 10 years since i moved to new york and found tons of korean-americans, men and women alike, who are nothing like what you describe. i, personally, am highly offended by your article. i am a korean-american woman. i am also columbia educated and a lawyer, and would consider myself fairly attractive. i am also cultured and intelligent. i can hold my own on issues of politics, religion, football, 20th c painters or ferraris. i care about more than just brand names and sugar daddies. for you to imply that all korean-american women are superficial and high-maintenance is troubling, not only because of what you're saying about our women, but also what it says about our men; your article being a prime example. the fact that you notice only these things suggests that you too only care about these things. next time you write an article, think about what you're writing. stop being so narrow-minded and uncultured. |
anonymous
said:
|
... STOP hanging out with korean people and at korean places, and you will find korean people that aren't like the ones you mention in your blog. |
Mike
said:
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... to [CATHERINE] columbia grad and a lawyer...are you dating or married? if not, hit me up and lets go out! i'm just joking... haha. |
JC
said:
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... The funny thing is that Korean-American girls from LA/Koreatown are a lot LESS messed up than the ones that grew up in other parts of the country. I'm talking about the ones that would whine about not being blonde--despite the fact that most White dudes nowadays have the Yellow Fever. I had a housemate who openly called herself a "banana" like 3 times a day. Of course, these girls would openly debase themselves for white guys, while treating Asian guys like dirt. I'm an attractive, high-status Korean-American who is quite good at getting numbers, and getting dates. For the reasons stated above, I've sworn off Korean-American girls in specific, and Asian-American girls in general. I have been dating mostly Asian girls from Asia, along with a few nice white girls. Of course, I'd make an exception for the few Korean-American girls that aren't messed up in the head. |
AS
said:
|
... Hey Ricky, Good luck finding a girlfriend. Your writing is absolutely terrible. I even found some grammar mistakes and I'm a Korean American woman!!! |
Liz
said:
|
... A friend showed me this article, so I laughed my head off. A lot of people sound upset, but I found it all funny. I'm a Korean American woman who grew up in LA. I'm also a Cal grad. GO BEARS! I buy a few brand-name things, but I don't buy trendy. I buy for quality and endurance. I have dated only a few Korean men. Why? Because I tend to run in circles that don't include a huge amount of them. My group of friends is very diverse. They include all racial backgrounds, levels of education, class, gender, creed, and sexual preference. I have had crushes on some Korean men, but they didn't return my feelings. A few Korean men liked me, but I didn't feel the same way. I tend to prefer outgoing funny guys of any race. I dated a whole bunch of fun guys--African American, Chinese American, Filipino American, Taiwanese American, Vietnamese American, Salvadoran American, Mexican American, etc. Why close off the possibilities? Stop caring what other people think. Date whomever you think is beautiful and compatible with you. You're describing my mother's generation of women, but I have to admit that I have met this stereotype even outside of K-Town and within my generation. This type of woman crosses all racial and ethnic lines, and crosses gender lines as well. I graduated from CNR (College of Natural Resources), and my boyfriend and I recycle and compost to the point where our actual garbage is only a half wastebasket each week. We can go two weeks without filling our small 10- gallon garbage can. I am a labor activist and a proud union member. I drive a 10-year-old Infiniti. I got it because of the side-door impact bags, and I liked the way it drove. It's a 5-speed manual transmission. My black leather purse is some no-name bag that I got from Macy's. It looked sturdy, and I liked the contrast stitching. It was on sale for less than $70. My boyfriend isn't Korean, but I never cared about much ethnicity anyway. My first boyfriend was African American. My current boyfriend is Native American. Talk about a small pool of women if you want to stick with dating only Native American women! My advice to you, Ricky, is forget about what everyone else wants for you and concentrate on who makes YOU happy. Does your partner share your values? Does she value you as a person? Does she accept you for who you are without wanting to make you over? If the answer is YES, then cherish her. As a Korean woman who has always been told that I'm not Korean enough--whatever the hell that means--I say, be whomever your soul dictates. Forget about the comments from the peanut gallery. I wish you luck in finding your mate. Perhaps you have already found her! |
sans prenom e nom
said:
|
... There's a nice Miss Kim: http://www.ci.berkeley.ca.us/ContentDisplay.aspx?id=9906 http://www.ci.berkeley.ca.us/council2/Commissions.htm |
David
said:
|
... Korean Women - The Ultimate Revelation by ***** Introduction - Korean Women Chapter 1 - Ms. Ironing Board: Front and Back. "Eh...What's The Difference?" Chapter 2 - Prisses the First: Waiting for You.. Wussies in Shining Armor Chapter 3 - Let's Dig Gold...and Bury Men Chapter 4 - Drama Queens and the Servants Chapter 5 - Naive the Asian: Super Bowl "Is that a name of a big cereal?" Chapter 6 - Actresses: A Final Step to Steal Losers' Hearts Chapter 7 - Religious Preachers: Thou Shalt Not Kiss Before Marriage Chapter 8 - Proud to be Prude: Thou Shall Not Even Hold Hands Before Marriage Chapter 9 - Hermits R Us Chapter 10 - Prisses the Second: Huh?? What's a Gym?? Bonus Chapter: Ms. Invisible - I Can't Even See Her Sideview! |
Angela K.
said:
|
... Who we date, for both men and women, is a private matter--Really not up for theoretical discussion. While I understand what you are saying, and can see that that is how it looks from your perspective, what you are really asking for is for Korean American women (the ones you've met so far) to change to please your standards and values. I've always found it very strange that women will be hacked and their IQ points will drop in the minds of strangers the minute she is seen holding a certain bag--while men can spend a ridiculous amount of their disposable and indispensable income on sports equipment, video games, the stereotypical list can continue. And of course, to the person who is spending their money on the for mentioned items, the purchases are justifiable and reasonable. Because it's for us. Us, as in, the men and the women, and we don't have to agree on what we're buying do we? I can assure you that there is the other end of this rope. I've never seen any Asian American men at protests against violence (violence again women). I've never really spoken to an Asian American male that thought feminism was something to really ponder, reflect on, act on. I usually meet Asian American men who are turned off by political discussions, feel entitled to grand treatment for... god knows what (I suspect that it's the mother's fault, but that would horrible), and are surprised that I read...and find it fun. But I am going to continue to believe that not all Asian American men are insipid, dull, impossible to friend, a nightmare to date. Because that would just be silly and absolute. |
stop the insanity!
said:
|
... Everybody just stop it! Hold your instincts and your hormones and your rage. Everyone just go into your caves and stop bothering others. If only guys could get rid of sex ...then there would be none of these problems...the bags, bmws, high heels, need for love fulfillment...etc... in the end on your death bed everybody talks to God...end of story you smartasses. |
Edwad
said:
|
... Here's a better solution. Let the Korean-American women who act unpleasant go throw themselves on white guys, k. I don't expect females to be pushovers, but then again I don't expect to fawn nor curry you. I personally find Asian-American women other than Korean more physically attractive anyways. |
Edwad
said:
|
... Anyone who writes more than several sentences is anal-rententive, high-maintenance. You are some of the most self-absorbed, "need to feel appreciated" type people. Nobody gives a flying f^ck about your personal/professional credentials, what you drive, where you work, your alma mater and the likes. Don't take things so personally, let laid, if not masturbate. |
david
said:
|
... cute and beautiful Korean women are high maintenance and more demanding,why???? because they can Ugly Korean women are easy going and kind, why? because that the only thing they have. LAW OF NATURE |
white guy adonis
said:
|
... Oh my gosh. So many Korean girls love using me as their bragging-piece at clubs in Koreatown, Los Angeles. I'm tall (6'), good-looking (a 9.9 out of a 10--I'm humble too), 3% body fat (Calvin Klein level model), make Korean guys look like the short trolls they are, my phallic dimensions make Korean males look like they are popping zits or goose-bumps when I pull the hog out to take a urinary break, and break every single Korean girl who worships the ground I walk on. I didn't know that white males are the male-aesthetic that Asian females kill for, until the past few years. I'm sorry you flat-faced, phallically challenged, short stubbed Korean guys, I didn't mean to "steal" your women. They just flock to me. I am God's Gift to Asian females. Now, uh...let me get back to pumping one of your females who would slurp the semen to the last little tadpole within my physical being. Sorry Korean guys, maybe they'll invent a phallic growth hormone. |
White married to Hanguker
said:
|
... I'm married to a Korean who I met in Korea in 1990. Plus I have lived in a number of states so I've been exposed to Korean communities in the Puget Sound area of Washington State, New Jersey, Detroit, Michigan area plus several smaller communities in the states of Arizona, Virginia, Maryland and Texas. It is my observation that Koreans in general are concerned with status thus drive luxury brands, sport designer bags, etc as many have mentioned in this thread. My wife too wants the same and she does except the car which I just refuse to buy. I also notice that there seems to be a division between those with White husbands and those with Korean husbands. I even see it churchs that I have attended. I know the Koreans take great pride in their pure Korean stock and look down on those of mixed blood but this is typical of asians in general. I do love my Korean wife though. I am her main focus and I love it. For all you Korean men, my suggestion, go to Korea to find a wife. This is especially easy since Korea lends itself to matchmaking. And like one poster said, he has started dating SE Asians. I say go for it - don't buy into the "trophy" K-women want to think of themselves as. Life is too short and what really matters is you not your friends and not your family. They will accept whomever you chose if you do. And to the guy called "white guy adonis". You're a nothing and you know it. |
Eunhea
said:
|
... Not all Korean-americans are like that. It seems like you only emphasized the west coast. If your going to do that then I would highly encourage you to travel. I am a first generation korean-american female and I am totally not like that. I am from Chicago and of course your gonna see those type of girls everywhere and not only in Korean-Americans. You will see them literally in every color. I think ricky you have every right to vent out your frustration. I agree with you to an extent however I don't think we can generalize all korean-american women. I think you have a valuable point and your right, there all lot of crappy females out there who likes to take advantage of people. I feel like mankind alone takes advantage of people regardless of their gender and race. Like i said, I do agree with you to an extent and you should congratulate yourself I think you do have a decent argument based on the comments you have been receiving. I take no offense to your article but I do think we shouldn't generalize. sincerely, Eunhea |
Lkim
said:
|
... Ricky, Materialism is a reality not isolated to Ktown but throughout the world. Have you traveled much outside this country? If you have, especially to Japan, China, Taiwan, Singapore, Thailand, and some Middle Eastern Countries, you would be shocked at how ruthless and materialistic the women there are. Korean women pale in comparison to these women when it comes to material possession and only dating men with financial means. You should really take the time to travel and see what reality is like outside your bubble. You will come back with a newfound appreciation for KA women. |
Lkim
said:
|
... BTW, nobody cares about your biased opinion of KA women. It shouldn't come as a surprise that you've just stirred-up a lot of anger by writing this article and you won't hear the end of it. You remind me of my 4 year old throwing tantrums because he didn't get what he wanted. Please stop with your rant and move on with your life instead of dwelling on your negative experiences with women. Obviously, you've found your soulmate and you should be thrilled. |
Jin Hyun
said:
|
... Another sorry venting from a Korean-American male who refuses to accept the facts of why beautiful Korean-American female don't want to date him. It's not that we like white men (I personally am thoroughly disgusted and revolted by white male's infatuation with us) but it's because Korean-American men want to continue the ignorant Confucius culture which mostly benefits men and utilize the modern American culture as well. Well, you can't have both! Even though I want to marry a Korean-American men, I find their inferiority complex syndrome totally frustrating. I don't know any male in this world who always "tests" women to see if they're desirable and important. Usually those symptoms are portrayed by LOSERS. Last thing I want to do is marry a damn loser. Yes, Korean-American women are perceived as the most beautiful women in the world and we're proud of that fact. You, Korean-American men need to appreciate the fact that the most beautiful women in the world is interested in YOU and treat us with utmost respect and love. :P |
Sue Rin Huh
said:
|
... I am a very attractive and intelligent Korean woman and I am responding to Uberwerk, (posted long ago). and here is the gist of what was said... "korea got bombed to smithereens in the 50s. then it was divided into two. the upper half was turned into china. the lower half was turned into a shopping mall. face it, korea was pwned and women, who aren't as often likely to defend themselves, are also inclined to ditch the challenge of upholding what was pwned. so they run towards something more secure. these days bmw's, louis vuitton, prada, etc are displays of that security. the korean women you describe are vain. vain women make bad mothers. bad mothers breed stupidity. the stupid are inferior. next time, try a nice white american girl with real curves" LOL! Whoa. now let me apologize before hand for my grammar and such...but LOL! Too funny. I was scrolling down, enjoying all the banter back and forth and this just took me aback. It's a oxymoron in itself Uberwerk. Congratulations, you've exposed your own hyprocritical strangeness. Sounds like you have some issues with the Asian population in general, why did you take the time to read and post on this website anyways? Either you have superiority issues...which indicate inferiority. OR, you have some deep-seated desires, which were left high and dry. Your argument is FLAWED. yes,korea has always seemed to be a passable vassal country, giving tribute to Japan, hiding behind China and now...succumbing to gucci and materialism. But m'friend, koreans have always been shallow and hierarchial. when the "women run to bmws and prada..." They aren't running to security, you idiot. they're running UP the social ladder. LOL, security in the USA? Have you heard about the national debt? Trillions is owed to.... China....lol. so really. vain mothers beget stupidity, stupidity begets inferiority? In that case, inferior morons are running this country for a loooong time. Because...don't you know? The root of the US's economic model, Laissez-Faire - "do as you choose", capitalism is the birthplace of vanity, my friend. But hey, thanks for the laugh. Now, that's done. To the poster? You need to stop whining. This looks back for everyone. Do you think ppl are going to change by reading a blog on teh internet? No. If you reallly care, get involved in teh community. |
Someone who KNOWS Ricky!
said:
|
... I'm just curious to when Korean-American women became "the most beautiful women in the world"? Vanity has found a home in the minds of a Korean-American women.What I believe Ricky(and I know him personally)is trying to say is that when we value a person based on what they have, we do not value ourselves or that person at all. A person is more than what they own, drive, or have in the bank.Ricky, is a great person. So loving and caring you wouldn't believe.But, KA women never get a chance to see that because they can't get over his car,income, and place of residence.Ricky, don't let these people who do not know you beat you down.I love you and the right girl for you is out there. Now, she may not be KA but I know you can deal with that. You may have to be like your buddy and get a girl like me...LoL! |
Materialistic KA Male
said:
|
... Interesting article, I see some truth in it, especially in the younger, uneducated girls, but that's just because they don't know any better. Of course, not everyone is like this and this 'epidemic' affects women of all cultures and nationalities. However, as a 24yo Korean American male I'm glad there is a place on the internet where I can discuss this in our own unique cultural light. BIG PICTURE LA is a jungle and you gotta compete. It's the survival of the fittest and although I wish it was different, such is life and who am I or you, Ricky, to change it. It's stupid to remain a naive idealist. Accept reality and deal with it. If you're looking for a great girl, keep an open mind. Not all girls in K-Town are bad, but if you're looking for looking for treasure in the trash can, don't be surprised when you find a rotten apple. MATERIALISTIC GIRLS There's a time and place for everything. I have a 20yo materialistic girlfriend and I love her and despise her. I love her because she always looks gorgeous, is dressed to kill, and I can relax with her and escape the pressure from work/family (fam biz). Other times I despise her because she doesn't have much to say, expects me to pay for everything, is a low-achiever, and is financially retarded (doesn't save, blows all her money on clothes). Sometimes I wonder if we would have lasted this long if I were not so lucky. Other times I wonder if she's more like a pet than a gf. Then I slap myself because I wasn't that great at 20 either. Most of the time I am head over heels in love with her and want nothing more than to spoil her, take her to nice places, and enjoy good food together. KOREAN GIRLS VS NON-KOREAN GIRLS I grew up in LA, partied a LOT in K-Town during high school, and then lived the college / party / conservative / international-student lifestyle in Boston. Great times. From my experience, materialistic girls come from all cultures and walks of life. However, Koreans have a higher than average tendency to use expensive logos and cars to make themselves appear of a higher socio-economic status than they are actually from. In some other cultures I've encountered, girls are more likely to actually come from the wealthy families their handbags and BMW's suggest. Of course Koreans are not alone here (Miami, China, bling-loving rappers), but we are above average in this simple gauge of cultural vanity. I don't blame these social-striving Korean girls because we have an upwardly mobile culture. Look at the amazing economic growth of South Korea over the past 50 years. We are the envy of the developing world and our success could not have occurred without dreams of a better tomorrow and a better life for our kids. As one of those kids who are enjoying the dream, I am grateful to my striving family and culture for making this life possible. DATING IN LA I believe our culture puts immense pressure on Korean boys & girls to be successful/good-looking and if they're not, to use expensive baubbles to at least look successful/good-looking so they can keep their pride and egos intact. We search for beauty or wealth in our partners to create the illusion that we ourselves posses those traits. In a sick way, it means that my hot gf and I are each other's accessories. I admit I look at beauty first (shame on me) and then everything else. My dream woman is a gorgeous, educated, sexy, career-minded, cheerful, funny, Korean American girl who doesn't mind splitting the bill and does something nice for me once in a while. She can be a little materialistic because I like nice stuff too, but she shouldn't be over the top and shouldn't expect me to buy it for her. I'll keep dreaming. In reality I'm going to enjoy what's out there and make the best of it. If I'm single again I'll be going to K-Town to meet and drink with attractive girls (love our drinking culture). I don't expect to find Ms. Right. I'll most likely find Ms. Right Now, but that's fine because maybe she'll have a friend or maybe I'll run into her again in the future. People are always changing and today's material girl can turn into tomorrow's dream woman. |
Someone who KNOWS Ricky!
said:
|
... I'm just curious to when Korean-American women became "the most beautiful women in the world"? Vanity has found a home in the minds of a Korean-American women.What I believe Ricky(and I know him personally)is trying to say is that when we value a person based on what they have, we do not value ourselves or that person at all. A person is more than what they own, drive, or have in the bank.Ricky, is a great person. So loving and caring you wouldn't believe.But, KA women never get a chance to see that because they can't get over his car,income, and place of residence.Ricky, don't let these people who do not know you beat you down.I love you and the right girl for you is out there. Now, she may not be KA but I know you can deal with that. You may have to be like your buddy and get a girl like me...LoL! |
Someone who doesn't care for people like Ricky
said:
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... Dude, you can't get Korean-American girls that are cool like me because you believe in dumb shit haha. |
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